She also knew that I hated publicity and that was why she hadn't called or emailed me beforehand.I sat still for a moment. In a way this didn't change...anything, but on the other hand it changed everything. Normally I would have just ignored the request and plainly refused to meet the journalist and just make sure that he or she had no access to my site. But this situation was far from normal, and the journalist was Karen. I shut down the alarm, and opened the gate, and drove out. Then I closed. Would I, I thought of nothing else on Sunday, images of her flashed into my mind hourly, would she go through with it, would the Embarrassment factor overcome the meeting, which dog would she choose; would she share the photos? Images of her on her hands and knees mounted and in pain from the knot, guilt at having built for her the image in her mind and her need to try this at all, they all flashed through my mind at some point through the day. Would she want to talk to me again? Even; was I. I'm a woman of a certain age, whom you probably wouldn't think twice about in a sexual way, the only smile you send my way is one of benevolent patience as you wait politely for me to exit ahead of you.Little do you realize that you have been the focus of several of my fantasies in recent days. Young man of the hard body, the beautifully chiseled features, and sad, soulful eyes. My heart flutters if you get near me, if I even imagine your arm brushing against me.But when I get home from work. I enjoyed the job?as much as Icould enjoy anything back then?and though I never went looking fortrouble it didn't take much to convince me to throw some asshole out onhis ass. The waitresses love that, and they loved me to, even thoughthey quickly sussed that I wasn't exactly boyfriend material.And from there?well, then I was working bar on Fridays, and before longmanaging the place, too. I wasn't really alive, not in the way thepeople around me seemed to be. Everything I did was purely.
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